How To Overcome Self Blame

Personal Growth

Yearning for the realization of the goal, seeking love, admiration, and respect is the basic human desire, but blaming yourself is unreasonable when desire does not turn into a reality. Self-blame is not good in a sense that it gives the illusion of comfort and prohibits you to make an effort to improve your lifestyle. Through self-blame, you would get some attention and sympathy for the time being but it would not make you happy in the long run.

However, the fact is that you would definitely get a chance to celebrate when you keep on putting an effort to move on and start focusing on the present moment to grab the opportunity it has in store for you. That is why when self-blame creeps in, you need to address it and move on. Here are some of the ways that you would find it useful to overcome self-blame:


If your personal goal does not work out, try to forgive yourself on the ground that you do not have the complete control over the outcome. Although it is difficult to forgive one selves in the face of failure but forgiveness is imperative. Remind yourself that you did the best you were capable of doing at that moment. If you would be aware that your action would be a mistake you had not done the same. Life has a unique way to teach lessons for improvement. Without the trial and tribulations, you would not be able to progress and realize your higher potential. Your life becomes easier when you learn to look at the opportunities for growth in setbacks. So forgive yourself, look for the silver lining instead of blaming yourself and move forward in life.


Self-blame often occur due to past actions which is not going to make any significant changes in your life. The only use of the past is to learn the lessons so that you do not repeat the same mistakes again in life. By self-blaming you would only ruin your present moment. So do not let your mind wander in the past or worry about the future, stay in the present and focus on the task in order to move forward. Once you get success even in trivial task, you will build a sense of confidence that will help you to pick another task and succeed.


Self-blame is a sign of not taking responsibility for your life; it is unproductive which help no one. If you want to overcome self-blame you need to increase your self-esteem by taking responsibility for your life. Remember the fact that it is natural for human beings to make mistakes and learn from it to move forward in life. Taking responsibility does not mean to continue blaming yourself and feel sorry, but to figure out your strength and do the thing that is in your control to improve the result as well as feel better in life.

Hence, always keep in mind that it is impossible for anyone to control everything in their lives so there is no valid reason to blame you for everything. As a human being, mistakes are bound to happen, but it is your own choice to keep on dwelling over them or learn from the mistakes and move on. You cannot keep on blaming self and moving forward in life at the same time. If you want to move forward in life and make progress, you do not have another option but to stop blaming yourself for anything that is not in your control. So do not be hard on yourself by been engaging in self-blame, overcome it to live life to the fullest.