How To Overcome Self Pity

Personal Growth

Self-pity is a negative emotion human emotion which ruins positivity of life and makes a person victim of their own circumstances. Self-pity does not allow a person to use their reasoning abilities and make them think there is no solution to their problems. There is no harm in self-pity as long as you are motivated to learn from it and strive to overcome it. But the moment self-pity turns in obsession either by negative circumstances or as a matter of gaining attention of others by making them feel sorry for you then it halts the growth of your life.

Self-pity is never ending cycle, goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing worthwhile because it makes the person complacent that nothing can be done to improve life. In other words, self-pity is self-defeating because you keep on feeding it with bad feelings which grows stronger with time. That is why, the moment you realize that self-pity is halting your progress then you need to address it. Here are some of the ways that you may find it useful to overcome self-pity:


When you are sunk in self-pity, you should stop focusing on what you feel and keep yourself distracted by activities which occupy your complete attention. The activities could be anything that grabs your total attention, such as listening to upbeat music, watching movies, hitting the gym, sightseeing, reading books, playing games, meditation and of the same.


Empowering yourself with new skills, language, or gaining experience in your chosen field increases your self-confidence many folds and help you to get over self-pity. In other words, the added confidence you get from learning new skills make you less prone to self-pitying. So do not waste your valuable time in self-pity, empower yourself with new skills that boost your level of confidence and help you to overcome self-pity.


Life is not a competition; it is all about growing in every aspect of life and you should strive to be better than your previous one rather than comparing and competing with others. Always keep in mind that everyone is different and worthy in their own way. By comparing yourself with others, you would only make yourself vulnerable to self-pity and add to your suffering. That is why, in order to overcome self-pity, you should stop comparing yourself with others.


Being demanding is not going to help you anyway because the world does not centered around you and mean to serve you. The truth is that you need to take ownership over your situations to improve your life. So, buck up and stop complaining about things you have control over and adjust to things you cannot change to improve your life. Keep your focus on what you can do to improve your lifestyle instead of dedicating your attention on what you are missing in life and get engaged in self-pitying. Once you stop whining and start taking ownership over your situations, you would overcome self-pity and be able to make progress in life.


Often self-pity is associated with the past regrets or the future worries and that prohibit you from living in the present moment. However, the truth is that if you do not live in the present moment, you would not be able to move forward in life and that in turn makes you miserable. Brooding over the past or worrying about the future, do not mend the past mistakes or reduces future worries but saps today of its joy. So to overcome self-pity, you need to concentrate on the task at hand and enjoy the present moment.


Practicing gratitude is the most effective way to overcome self-pity. The habit of practicing gratitude on the daily basis not only motivates you to look at the positive aspects of your life, but also help you to reduce the chance of feeling pity about yourself. So do not take anything granted in life and be grateful for whatever you already have because the life which you are living may be the dream of many people in the world.

Hence, always keep in mind that self-pity originates from reluctance to fight a tough situation and misery does not exist in the outer world, but in your mind. If you think positively, positive things happen and if you think negatively, negative things bound to happen. Being grateful for what you already have is the best antidote to self-pity. It is not the difficult situations in your life that make you feel self-pity, but it is your reaction to those situations that are the source of your pain. If you learn to respect yourself, your level and confidence goes up and by taking responsibility and acting positively, you would make a right decision to handle the situation appropriately and overcome self-pity.